1. Ah, Edelgard. Perfect timing. Got a minute?
  2. What is it, Balthus?
  3. A little birdie told me Her Majesty is looking to [cdb]hire a bodyguard.
  4. I don't know where your birdie got its information, [cdb]but yes, that's correct.
  5. Well, that's great—because I know the perfect [cdb]guy for the job.
  6. When it comes to strength, integrity, and loyalty, [cdb]he gets top marks all around!
  7. And let me guess—his name is Balthus.
  8. Bingo! So hey, I bet an emperor's bodyguard [cdb]gets paid pretty well, yeah?
  9. I need the coin and you need the protection. We both stand to come out on top here.
  10. I see.
  11. Well, you will need to discuss the matter with Hubert [cdb]first.
  12. Believe me, I tried. That guy didn't even give me the [cdb]time of day.
  13. He said, and I quote, "Why would I trust Her Majesty's safety to a walking pile of liabilities such [cdb]as yourself?"
  14. "Ask me again once you've cleaned up your act, [cdb]and do be sure to use a good soap." So rude!
  15. And what makes you think I won't tell you the same?
  16. So...that's a no?
  17. No. It's an "absolutely not."
  18. You wish to safeguard my back, but Hubert has given [cdb]me a full litany of reasons why I shouldn't trust you [cdb]to protect any side of me at all.
  19. You were once the head of House Albrecht, yet now [cdb]you are a vagabond.
  20. You also owe money to Gloucester and other houses, [cdb]and have a bounty on your head—which is apparently [cdb]the only part of you required to collect said bounty.
  21. And need I even delve into your family history?
  22. Huh. Leave it to the Minister of the Imperial Household to dig up every last ugly detail on a man.
  23. Not every detail is ugly. We know you defeated Lord Holst at the tournament in Goneril, becoming the [cdb]first and only person ever to do so.
  24. So while people do not question your strength, they [cdb]might hold you in higher regard if you managed to [cdb]pull the rest of yourself together.
  25. Beginning with how you treat women.
  26. Whoa, hold on there. I'm not about to pursue some [cdb]dalliance with my boss. Especially when that boss [cdb]is the emperor. Even I have my limits.
  27. I rather doubt that.
  28. Well, there's only one way to prove me wrong. You're just gonna have to hire me.
  29. You must truly think me a fool. How disappointing.
  30. Hey, it was worth a try! But all right, you win. I'll give up on the whole job search...