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Ah, Edelgard. Perfect timing. Got a minute?
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What is it, Balthus?
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A little birdie told me Her Majesty is looking to hire a bodyguard.
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I don't know where your birdie got its information, but yes, that's correct.
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Well, that's great—because I know the perfect guy for the job.
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When it comes to strength, integrity, and loyalty, he gets top marks all around!
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And let me guess—his name is Balthus.
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Bingo! So hey, I bet an emperor's bodyguard gets paid pretty well, yeah?
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I need the coin and you need the protection. We both stand to come out on top here.
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I see.
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Well, you will need to discuss the matter with Hubert first.
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Believe me, I tried. That guy didn't even give me the time of day.
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He said, and I quote, "Why would I trust Her Majesty's safety to a walking pile of liabilities such as yourself?"
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"Ask me again once you've cleaned up your act, and do be sure to use a good soap." So rude!
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And what makes you think I won't tell you the same?
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So...that's a no?
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No. It's an "absolutely not."
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You wish to safeguard my back, but Hubert has given me a full litany of reasons why I shouldn't trust you to protect any side of me at all.
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You were once the head of House Albrecht, yet now you are a vagabond.
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You also owe money to Gloucester and other houses, and have a bounty on your head—which is apparently the only part of you required to collect said bounty.
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And need I even delve into your family history?
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Huh. Leave it to the Minister of the Imperial Household to dig up every last ugly detail on a man.
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Not every detail is ugly. We know you defeated Lord Holst at the tournament in Goneril, becoming the first and only person ever to do so.
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So while people do not question your strength, they might hold you in higher regard if you managed to pull the rest of yourself together.
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Beginning with how you treat women.
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Whoa, hold on there. I'm not about to pursue some dalliance with my boss. Especially when that boss is the emperor. Even I have my limits.
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I rather doubt that.
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Well, there's only one way to prove me wrong. You're just gonna have to hire me.
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You must truly think me a fool. How disappointing.
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Hey, it was worth a try! But all right, you win. I'll give up on the whole job search...